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Tuesday, 22 March 2011

  • Love is only a Chapter

     

     you can`t find the right person
    if you`re still holding on to the wrong one

    If you think my eyes are beautiful, It's because they're looking at you.
     

    I wonder if you think of me half as much as I think about you.

    Forgive (v) : what you do when
    someone you love does something
    cruel or hurtful to you & you take
    them back because you cannot
    live without them.

    I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi, or even smile
    because I know, even if it's just for a second, I crossed your mind.

    have you ever been sitting there
    just minding your own business
    when you hear that sad song come on the radio
     & you start to cry;;
    and you just can’t stop
    because at that moment all you want to do
     is to is tell him how you feel
          && hope he understands

    if something bad happens to us someday, it'll never change what we have now, what we've always had. because you were right - love is real and we have to do everything to keep it alive. wherever life takes us, i want it to be with you, forever or until tomorrow.

    Thanks for pushing me away. You just gave me another chance to live my life how it should be. I'll be no broken hearted girl.

    No more hurt and no more tears, no more having nothing but fear in my heart and pain in my eyes,
    no more secrets and no more lies. today i left him, and im proud to say i walked away with my heart today.

    i love talking about you because
    i can never run out of things to say.
    i never have a bigger smile or louder
    laugh, & even with everything that
    i say, i'm still the O N L Y one that
    understands why i love you <3

    what hurts more than losing you
    is knowing that you`re not fighting to keep me

    what you don't know
    is that after everything
    that happened, i still
    go to bed with tears
    in my eyes.

    It`s better that we`re not talking anymore,
    not pretending everything is okay. Because for once I feel
    like you aren`t faking your feelings for me

    the happiest people do not have it all --
    they just make the best of what they got

    Trust is a tricky thing.
    Sometimes you have to give it up,
    sometimes you have to let it be broken.
    but there's no reason why you shouldn't use it again

    Why do I love you? Because I finally learned what the word means, and you were the one that showed me.

    He’ll always have a part of me
    Because I gave him everything

    Whenever I get sad cause I'm missing you,
    I jus think to myself,
    I'm so lucky to have someone so great to miss.

    Without you
    TOMORROWS WOULDN..T BE WORTH THE WAIT
    & YESTERDAYS WOULDN'T BE WORTH REMEMBERING.

    achoochoo-1

    The more you get to know someone,
    the more attracted you become to them
    because the beauty you've seen on the
    inside is starting to show on the outside.

    Dont let someone determine if you are beautiful or not because the only way to be beautiful is for you to think your are first

    This is for the broken hearted. I know how you feel. Empty, betrayed, and no happiness whatsoever. You don't want to laugh, because you know it's not going to help, but you don't want to cry, because it will just make you feel worse. You feel like your heart is falling apart, but not only that, but you know soon your life is going to feel like it's falling apart too. You don't think it will ever end, and no matter what this person has done to you, it feels impossible to stop loving them. And everyone wonders why if they have hurt you so much, then why do you still love them. That's the confusing part, you don't know why, you just do, and the people who hurt you the most, and normally the ones you love the most. And then, after a few weeks, you finally feel a sense of relief, like you're getting happy again, but you know inside that you're just going into denial. And after a few more weeks, you're back to where you were an empty soul and teary eyes. You thought you got over them, but really, you just stopped showing it. And you can't help but to show it again. It leaves deep scars on your heart that are there forever. And no one understands how you feel, and how deep you are hurt, no matter who they are, because it hasn't happened to them And even if it has, every broken heart is different. They don't know the true pain you feel and carry each and everyday now, so you learn that basically you are alone with all this. And the feeling starts to overwhelm you, and suddenly you just break down, right there, because you know you've had enough, the tears just instantly start flowing, and you're to the point where you don't care who see's. Because you've spent so many nights lying awake in bed, and so many days being haunted by the scars and fear of rejection. And in the midst of all these tears, you know that its not helping any, and it's not going to bring them back, if you ever even had them in the first place. After about a million tears have been cried, you finally pull yourself back together and keep going. Your throat starts to clench and your eyes burn with the tears you are trying to hold back. Everyone says, "It will be okay…” But you know it won't. And that’s the truth, it won’t. And you look back on all of the hurt you had from this, and you realize that people are horrible. You're still hurt, but you've learned to hide it so that everyone thinks you are okay. So now every time you see this person, you know you still love them, and you feel a slight tingle in your heart yearning for them to love you, screaming out, but for some reason they don't hear it. And then you sit back and wonder how one person could have caused all of this...

    hope is wishing something would happen.
    faith is believing something will happen.
    courage is making something happen.

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

  • Memories Can't Be Erased

      <3  

    Mischief 12.15.10

    I have to say..this is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with, and the sad part is, I never really had a chance to play with her right before she got sick. On December 10, I notice mischief hiding more often. I just thought she love being by herself hidden away. She never liked other pets, just the touch of the human hand. We started to notice she doesn't eat anymore nor drink as much as she should have. I got scared and wanted to take her to the vet. Because of work, I had lewis bring her to the vet Monday morning thinking it would be something fixable, and was completely shocked when he told me it wasn’t. I found out mischief had kidney failure and had it ongoing for awhile because of old age. But she was only 8 years old and an indoor cat!!!!!!! Cat usually live...... 12 years + don't they?


    Mischief had stopped eating, stopped drinking her water, and could barely stand anymore, the vet agreed that putting her to sleep was the right thing as nothing else could be done. It’s one of the most unselfish things I can do for her. My vet then explained the procedure where they give the cat a sedative and then a medication which stops the heart. The vet left the room to give us privacy and then when I was ready, he came back and asked if I wanted to be there when they administered the injection. I told him that I did not want to be there during the procedure. I said my goodbyes which was the hardest thing in the world. When I was done, I knew I had done the right thing. I will always remember the way she comforts me through all that I been through, the heartaches, the happiness, the sadness, my achievements, my failures, the moments only mischief can fill. To me, she is my silent therapist. 


    I’ll probably regret this forever.... But the vet told me if they tried to save her, at most she will live no more than 6 months. I wanted to save her. I wasn't ready to let go. She was like a baby to me, my baby. Mischief have given me a lifetime of companionship. The way she would curl up in my lap or stay next to me when I would watch tv, go on the computer, or sleep.


    I know to some people a cat is just a cat, but to me she wasn't. She was a member of our family. I loved her dearly, and she had the sweetest personality in the world. She loved everyone, was incredibly friendly, and ALWAYS had a feisty attitude. I will always miss her. 


    I will remember mischief as rambunctiously playful to the point of knocking things down, faithfully affectionate in a tranquil way, demanding of my attention, such a talker (meows anytime she wants to tell me something), enjoys being picked up and held, a follower (has to follow you everywhere: to the bathroom, to the kitchen, etc), a helper who likes to push the food out my hands or helps me read by laying on the book that i'm trying to read. Ah wonderful memories......

    But now that it's all over…. I can’t stop crying. This is the first time I've ever lost a pet -- and she was in our family for so long. I was wondering..how do you cope? Do you get a new pet? Does it just get easier over time? Right now I feel awful…..and I keep thinking of what I could have done to prevent it…..and how i'll never see her again. Even as I type this…..I'm getting teary eyed. It's hard to fully accepted her passing. I blamed myself for not noticing her symptoms sooner. Never mind the fact that she seemed perfectly fine until two days before taking her to the vet. 

    Forever I will miss you old buddy. Mischief's passing reminds me that life is really precious and to never take life or health for granted.

Monday, 08 November 2010

  • Just Maybe....

     

    I'll screw up. I'll push you away if we're getting too close. I won't trust you until you've proven yourself. I get hurt easily and take a lot of things personally. But I'll love you with everything I have, and if that isn't enough, then I'm not enough.

     

    Sometimes you just need to cry and be sad. You need to break down and be torn apart. You need to learn how to pick yourself up and put yourself back together. Sometimes, the only way to be happy is to give into sadness first. Cause without sadness, there's no happiness, you would never learn to smile.

     

    In life, we do things. Some we wish we had never done, and some we wish we could replay a million times. But they make us who we are and, in the end, they shape and detail us. If we were to reserve them, we wouldn't be the person we are today. So, just live. Make mistakes and have wonderful memories. But, never second guess who you are, where you've been, and most importantly, where you're going.

     

    You can't just give up when the "spark" is gone. That's what's so different between you and all the other guys I've liked. Sure, you're different... but not in a good way. You're just a typical boy, unintentionally dragging along a girl because you're not sure what you want. Honestly, all these mixed signals- what do you want? Either you want me or you don't. But I'm not going to stick around, waiting for a response. Because you're opinion won't matter. I'm different from all the other girls, you'll realize that.

     

    You may not be his first, his last or his only. He loved before, and he may love again, but if he loves you now, what else matters? He's not perfect, you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together, but if he can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes; hold onto him and give him the most you can. He may not be thinking about you every second of every day, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you can break- his heart. So don't hurt him, don't change him, don't analyze and expect more than he can give. Smile when he makes you happy, let him know when he makes you mad, and miss him when he's not there.

     

    It isn't good to hold on too hard to the past. You can't spend your whole life looking back. Not even when you can't see what lies ahead. All you can do is keep hanging on, and try to believe that tomorrow will be what it should be- even if it isn't what you expected.

     

    maybe I was wrong in thinking we were meant to be
    & that we were made for each other. Maybe we were
    never supposed to fall in love the way we did. Hell, we
    probably weren't even supposed to meet when we did,
    or maybe we shouldn't have met at all. But I know this
    much, if we aren't meant to be I don't know why I can't
    seem to come to terms of saying goodbye to you. And
    if we weren't supposed to fall in love then it was the most
    beautiful mistake I’ve ever made. And if I hadn't have
    met you, I probably wouldn't be the person I am today.
    I loved you with everything I had in me

     

    I'm ready to be the girl I used to be.
    The one who never cried,
    never got mad about dumb things,
    and the one girl who would never
    worry about being in love.

     

    Am I mad at you? That's your main concern after shattering my world? Mad for what? Breaking my heart? Or for all the lies? Maybe for letting me put all my trust in you only to be forgotten? How about the fact that you didn't have the decency to talk to me about it, about anything? Or the way you think it's crazy crying over it. Because to you it's no big deal. Am I mad at you? No, more like crushed. And so, so disappointed. Because I always thought you were better than this.

     

    you were there for me for so many years .. making
    me laugh while i was in tears ;; i will never let anyone
    take your place because you're the best friend i've got.
    you laugh at my stupidest jokes ;; put up with my worst
    moods .. go along wth my crazy ideas .. and you still \\
    manage to see the best in me

     

    There's a point in your life when you know who stays forever, and who's just around for a while. People change, so do you. Sometimes for the best, and sometimes for the worst. Bad things happen to everyone, you're not in it alone. People lie, and some people just don't care how you feel. Your heart beats, no matter how much pain you're in. Everything will be okay... eventually. There are always people in your life that just make your day, no matter the miles. I know about distance. I've been dealing with it all my life. Don't tell me it's easy, because it's not. But it's worth it. I'd rather keep in touch with the people I love, than just drop it and forget about it. You don't forget the ones you love. It doesn't work like that. Give it all you've got and live your life to the fullest. People would kill to be you, have what you have. Someone always has it worse off than you, but that doesn't mean you don't count.

     

    I just want to live my life without you. I want to be able to wake up each morning, and not wish that you would call me. I want to be able to walk around with a smile, and pass right by you without a second glance.

Monday, 26 July 2010

  •  

    the best feeling in the world is listening to someone`s heart beat
    & know that it`s beating like that because of you

    Always listen to your heart
    because you brain only thinks
    of logical things to do. Not
    what's the right thing to do

    as soon as you start to have romantic feelings for someone, you're fucked. you and this person are going to hurt one another. even if you are together for the rest of your life, you're going to feel indescribable pain. when you're in, no matter how deep, you're in.

    Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.

    I never expected you to be perfect, or
    anything near it. i didn't expect you to
    say all the right things, or do everything
    in the right way. but i expected you to try

    without you, nothing feels as good.
    it's like i'm missing some happy part of me

    Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else

    Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself.
    You have to know that you're a good person
    and a good friend. What's meant to be
    will end up good and what's not - won't.
    Love is worth fighting for, but sometimes you
    can't be the only one fighting. At times,
    people need to fight for you. If they don't,
    you just have to move on and realize what
    you gave them was more than they were
    willing to give you.

    Things don't go wrong and break your heart
    so you can become bitter and give up.
    They happen to break you down and build you up
    so you can be all that you were intended to be.

    Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what’s to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead of what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn’t have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves for growing up.

    That's the problem with us.
    We're too much alike.
    We're stubborn asses & always
    want to get our own way.
    We both hate to be wrong &
    love to be right. But that's the
    thing about love. No matter
    what happens, we always come back
    for each other one more time.

    When you see me now, I hope you`re sorry and I hope you regret how you hurt me. I hope you see me with someone else and wish it was you. I hope you regret all you`ve done and wish you could take it all back.

    I'm gonna stop looking back and start moving on.
    Learn how to face my fears.
    Love with all of my heart, make my mark.
    I wanna leave something here.
    Go out on a ledge, without any net.
    That's what I'm gonna be about.
    Yeah, I wanna be running when the sand runs out.
    Cause people do it everyday.
    Promise themselves they're gonna change.
    I've been there, but I'm changing from the inside out.
    That was then and this is now.

    Take chances, alot of them.
    Because honestly, no matter where you end up and with who,
    It always ends up the way it should be.
    Your mistakes make you who you are.
    You learn and grow with each choice you make.
    Everything is worth it. say how you feel. always be you..
    And be okay with it.

Monday, 05 July 2010

  • Sign he is no longer interested.

    Sometimes you can want a relationship so badly that you compromise yourself and hold on to something that just isn't there. Deep down you probably know that he is no longer interested, but facing the truth means breaking up. These are warning signs that tells when he has lost interest in the relationship. It's good to take note of these so you can take a closer look at your relationship and decide whether you want it or not. More or less some things has changed like:



    1)If you are accustomed to him calling frequently and he hasnt called you for a few days then there is something wrong


    2)He starts to pick fights and lose temper easily. He starts causing arguments over stupid little things. This is often happens when people are no longer interested in a relationship, but they dont want to be the one to end it. Dont beat about the bush, ask him outright if he is no longer interested in the relationship.


    3)He becomes secretive and no longer wants to tell you where he has been or who was on the phone. Maybe the phone is off limits to you. He disappears for hours without an explanation. There is communication breakdown.


    4) He no longer refers to "we" but "I". When he stops to plan for your future together. You are no longer included in his future.


    5) He would rather spend time with his friends than you. You have to fight with his friends for his attention.


    6) When there seem nothing to talk about.Once upon a time you would sit and have discussions about everything, now he just answers everything with yes or perhaps totally ignore you.


    7)Friends start asking whats wrong. Friends begin to notice tension or distance between you.


    8)Hes more critical of you. "That's an ugly dress your wearing","you're getting fat", "that does not look good on you," etc.

    9) The biggest one is a lack of intimacy. Maybe you have sex, but it is just sex. There is no love involved and he has no interest in how you are feeling during the act. A selfish lover is there for himself and not for you. If there is a lack of intimacy, he may no longer be interested and is just using you. If you are not having sex at all, that is a huge sign that he is no longer interested. If he makes excuses or winds up sleeping on the couch, either you need to try and spice things up or he just isn't interested. If you have tried things like experimenting with sexy lingerie, massage oils or other aphrodisiacs and still no interest, you need to wake up to the facts.


    At the end of the day, these are just warning signs and may not mean your relationship is not worth salvaging. It is best that you talk about it before you do something you may regret. Your relationship may not be what you think it is if you recognize any of the following signs. Why waste time with someone who cannot be honest out of fear of hurting your feelings? If he respected your feelings he would have talked to you when his feelings started to change. Allowing him to lead you on is only going to hurt more later.

     

    If he really has lost interest and the relationship is over, it is always better to face the truth then to live a lie. Everyone deserves to be respected and fully loved and appreciated. Hanging on to something that isn't there is a sad way to go through life. Moving on is simple, it’s what you leave behind that makes it so difficult. You deserve to be treated with respect like the quality woman you are. Happiness is not created by others ….it is only enhanced and the best things come when you least expect them. heart


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    When life gets you to the point where you could care less if you live or die & when the people you wish could count on aren't there for you when you need them, the only one you can count on is yourself. Believe in yourself- that you could be better than all the people who let you down. Your life could be the most amazing thing to someone else. It's what you do with your life & who lives for your touch in the process that makes you who you are. Somewhere & somehow, someone is depending on you. So don't let them down.. the way you've been let down

WhiteAngeL330

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    • Name: Ms Alice
    • Location: Bay Area, California, United States
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 7/4/2005

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